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Emotional Manipulation

Almost everyone knows someone or a friend of someone who has been abused. Most people who are abused are females, although males can certainly endure abuse as well. So, how do people become abusers? Typically, there are several factors that play into this. If a child views or witnesses either of their parents being abused while they are growing up, or if they themselves are the victims of any sort of verbal and/or physical abuse, there is a good chance that they will grow up to become abusers themselves.

As a child, witnessing various forms of abuse can be traumatizing. For those who end up being the ones who endure the abuse, whether it be physical or verbal or emotional, these people tend to grow up in more sheltered environments as children. In terms of abuse, it is not uncommon for a man to beat his wife and then not worry about her reporting it to the police. This is because nine times out of ten, those who are abused are usually under such mental control by their abusers that it is often times very difficult for them to think or see clearly what they should do. This can be extremely frustrating for family and friends who, from the outside, can logically see and advise the person what to do (ex: leave their abuser and re-start their life). However, if you've never been in an abusive situation before, it can be difficult to empathize with someone who is going through the abuse. People who are abused by their partners, spouses or other loved ones often feel ashamed and embarrassed about their situation.

Abusive relationships can also lead to the victim feeling lonely and depressed. This is dangerous because depression can and does sometimes act as a sort of gateway into other negative types of behavior such as drug and alcohol abuse or self inflicted abuse (i.e. self mutilation-cutting themselves, etc.). It can also lead to thoughts of suicide. If you suspect that someone is being abused or that there might be something going on, you might want to consider having an intervention. An intervention is sort of like a surprise party without the happy surprise. It is where you designate a place (usually someone's apartment) and you invite friends and family- people who are supportive towards the person who is being abused- over. You also invite the person who has been abused over to confront them about the problem and to let them know that they are safe and that you will help them get the help that they need. Now, this is not for everyone and needs to be deliberated over before you go forward with it. You can also take a more personal approach by simply asking the person who has been abused what's going on. Let them know that they can speak to you in confidence. Understand that someone who has been abused will feel all sorts of emotions such as pain, frustration, anger, embarrassment, denial and sadness. It is important to let them know that you will not judge them no matter what circumstances they have had to go through.

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