The issue of gay and lesbian divorce is beginning to heat up since the District of Columbia legalized gay marriage in March of 2010, and it is legalized in five other states as well. In March a Texas divorce case involving a lesbian couple made history by granting a divorce, but there is a hitch: the state has a constitutional amendment passed in 2005 defining marriage as a union between "a man and a woman".

That raises the question of how a state can dissolve a gay marriage when it doesn't recognize same-sex marriage. Does this mean that allowing gay divorce means that gay marriage is legal? And there is also the social aspect of this issue. Some argue that same sex marriage is unacceptable because the issue of homosexuality is unacceptable. Consider that George W. Bush publicly made the statement that "marriage is between a man and a woman" during his presidency, adding a lot of weight to the controversy.

If we are to be objective and non-judgmental about this issue, we could say "what's the big deal?" Homosexuality may be a controversial social subject, but looking at it pragmatically, it could be sad that when two gay people care deeply for each other they want to get married, just as straight couples do. We also know that marriage has a 50% failure rate, so why would gay and lesbian marriage be an exception? Critics might say that when gay and lesbian couples leave their marriage, it validates the beliefs that homosexual relationships are deviant.

Could it be that homosexual relationships are under much more social pressure to succeed because of such beliefs? Or is it just that marriage relationships are hard work and that many succumb to the pressures of that? Whatever the reason for gay divorce, same-sex marriage is just as demanding as opposite sex marriage and they are not immune to the same problems.

The problems that contribute to same sex marriage can also be present in gay marriage, but may not be as visible. For example, if a gay couple has problems with physical abuse, some may consider the abuse to be sadomasochistical if between men, or they may believe that women are not naturally violent, or that the abuse was consensual. Whatever the reason for the problems, marriage relationships among all people everywhere are subject to many different types of problems that can lead to divorce. Gay divorce seems to be more visible since more same-sex marriages are being allowed, but gay people have been in committed relationships long before that happened, and they have been subject to some of the same relationship problems.

My mission is to reach out and help others with divorce recovery issues. I have taught divorce recovery at a local community college for five years, and have been blogging about divorce recovery for the past three months. I have a Master's degree in counseling and have worked with families in mental health settings.