The truth of the matter is that "breaking up is hard to do" just as the song says. Even though it happens to most if not all of us at one time or another, the pain is not less for knowing that. Or make it any easier to bear. Fortunately there are ways of coping with a break up that will aid in the process and make the change a less painful one.

First things first: consider some overall advice about "relationship".

You must understand that you are dealing with an acute loss and that is not easy. This relationship was undoubtedly important to you on several levels. Now it's gone and left behind is a sizable void in your life. Is it any wonder that you are feeling weakened, vulnerable, and even angry at this time? No, it's completely understandable, even to be expected. After all, the person who knew you best, who shared your hopes and dreams is no longer there. Not only that, but the person whose shoulder you would most likely "cry on" is gone too.

This is going to hurt, plain and simple.

So what do you do?

In essence, you have two choices. The first is to dwell on what you've lost, make yourself miserable and renew the pain on a regular basis. The second is to "take five", take a practical, proactive look at what happened, and take some steps to make yourself better, more prepared, perhaps even a better "catch" for the next time.

There is a third option, which we will approach a little later.

Some will find solace in holing up by themselves and shutting the world out. Others will "rebound" into another relationship right away in an attempt to fill the emptiness. Still others will try binging: eating, drinking, and partying like there is no tomorrow.

But there is a tomorrow. That's what is important to remember now. Yes, this will take some time. Yes, there will be the pain of loss and regret. And no, there really isn't any way around that.

Bottling up those feelings or letting them spew without control or regard is ultimately not going to be good physically, mentally, or emotionally. It might serve to get your mind off the situation for a short time but there is always payback sooner or later. However, if you can accept the fact that the process is inevitable and that there is "the other side", then you will be better ready for what is coming.

There are several ways of dealing with this event in a more positive way that will serve you better in the long run.

You could write it out. Many people find such expression very helpful and soothing. Writing has the advantage of letting you say whatever it is that you want to say, however you want to say it-without ever having anyone else read it. Some folks have gone so far as to write the other person a letter-saying whatever came to mind, being as strong worded as need be-and then destroying the letter without ever sending it. Others have written essays or even books about their losses-a quick look around your local bookstore will reveal a great many of these. Writing for this reason has served as a release for as long as there has been pen and paper.

You could talk about it with a friend or close relative. Most likely there is someone in your life to whom you could unload without having to worry about repercussions, without having to censor your words or thoughts. Someone you trust to take this conversation for what it is-an unloading of hurt and pain that simply needs to be released and exorcised.

If neither of these solutions is a viable option, you might consider a doctor or therapist who can listen constructively to what you have to say and give you positive feedback.

I can hear it now: "I don't need that; I can handle it on my own!"

Maybe. Maybe not. Remember that old saying that a lawyer who represents himself has a fool for a client? It means that being too close to the situation colors your judgement and affects your decisions. A therapist or doctor has been trained to listen and offer constructive advice. There is no emotional attachment and therefore no prejudice feedback.

These are essentially release mechanisms: ways for you to unload and let go of the pain and sorrow inside so that you may see more clearly the reality and deal with it constuctively.

And just what is that reality?

Just this: it doesn't end here. It may feel like it [there is no denying the pain] but life goes on. There will be a next day. Other opportunities will present themselves.

Remember in school where every bad grade you got, every ball you missed on the playground felt like the end of the world? It wasn't until much later that you realized how much of life lay ahead. And what a short part of it was that grade or that ball. That's the advantage of perspective.

You are in control of your life. It's not so much what happens to you as to how you deal with it that makes the difference. You can use this situation to create a better YOU. A better prepared you. A more aware you. A more ready you for the next time.

You can unleash and unload some of these pent up feelings and relieve some of the suffering.

Give yourself a break. Take a deep breath. Pause. Reflect. It isn't over yet.

Being in a relationship automatically brings with it the risk of break up:thats the truth.How you deal with it that should it happen will make the difference in the end.

The best of luck to you.

Oh yes, the third option.

If you have considered all this, found your balance, are back in control and decided that this connection is valuable to you, worth saving, and your decision is mend this broken relationship,look below for the information and strategy that will make all the difference in your success.